Two runs + core work

I've now gone for two 15 minute runs (yesterday and Thursday). I can't say I had an amazing experience in either instance, but I did take a few positive things from it. It's funny to see people's different reactions to me saying I ran a couple miles. Most of the time they're so overly enthusiastic that my knee jerk reaction is "well it wasn't that great," inevitably putting me in this conversation where I'm seemingly talking myself down, which isn't necessarily a true representation of my feelings. I'm more cautiously optimistic and not about to declare myself 100% when I have plenty of work to do before I feel like my old self again. 

I still feel a very slight ache on my right side, though it's subtle and hard to describe. I have been able to bounce back from these runs with little to no pain the next day on my surgical side, which has been a huge boost for me. I feel way stronger in general in my core even in the past few days, like I'm supporting myself better while I'm out there running and walking and even going through my daily routine. SC has me doing this ridiculously hard (for me) core routine that literally only is 3 or 4 minutes long but totally maxes me out. I get up from it feeling wobbly and weak but also like I'm making some good gains. The question over the next few weeks at this point is all about my right side. If that slight ache I feel over there sometimes gets better and starts to dissipate I really think I'll be able to start building up miles. 

I had a dream last night where I didn't have any doubts or inhibitions about running and was able to go out there without fear of pain or setback. I can't wait to get back there some day. 

AH

Butt walking

Getting into a new routine is a pain in the ass. You're motivated in the beginning, at least peripherally excited at the prospect of a new venture, and yet you have nothing to build on. You're taking a new class, starting a new diet, gym membership, new season of training, whatever it may be. I can relate to a couple of those things. It's fun, but you almost wish you'd pass out and wake up weeks into the process of it where you're more comfortable and actually have some things to build and improve upon. Last week after the doctor's visit I called SC and set up some times to meet and work on stretching, deep tissue release, and ultimately strengthening my core to the point where I'll be able to run again. Given the go ahead from the doctor with essentially no limitations felt like I was delivered a deliciously fresh plate of motivation. Hence the call to SC immediately after the appointment. I knew it would be a tedious process, and getting started with something I knew would be a pain is never very fun. Bear in mind that I've actively avoided core work during my running career, even while at Bucknell because I hated it so much...

...But core work combined with the goal of going out and walking for 45 minutes? Biking for 30? Voluntarily getting my legs getting absolutely hammered to pulp with the elbows and thumbs of my evil-doing coach? And potentially doing this for weeks on end with practically no running at all? Sign me up! *Cough. *Choke. *Sputter.

Anyway, that's a tough way to think about starting something new. Probably best to just put your head down, bite your fingers, grit your way through it (like I do when I'm getting my hips torn apart with this deep tissue stuff) and actively try and remove from the situation mentally. Not to sound dramatic or anything.

Yesterday I went out for a 35 minute walk (partially in the rain). During all my walks recently, even during my regular day's routine, I'm consciously trying to activate my glutes as I move around. It's a bizarre feeling because I clearly don't typically walk "with my butt." I guess I've always been a more quad-centric runner, as many people are. I feel like a baby who's just discovered their toes. One day you're just like "HOLY HELL what in the world is this?" That's kind of how I've been feeling about my butt muscles in the last few days. Kinda cool.

Anyway, here I am having actually ground my way through basically a week of this and today I feel like I'm gaining a little bit of traction. I went in to the gym where SC is a trainer again today and he did more deep tissue body work and walked me through a quick core strengthening circuit. Obviously nothing too complicated, but because I've now been at it for over a week I'm starting to feel some actual progress. I think I'm over the beginners hump, so to speak, where now I have a small foundation on which to build up my body again.

I know it won't all be peachy from here on out, but at least I have been able to continue that renewed sense of motivation I got when I went to the doctor's a week ago and not back track yet. Tomorrow I'm going to try a 30 minutes bike followed by a 15 minute run. Then, we wait a couple days and see how my hips/groin react and keep pressing on.

AH

Wait, biking is fun?

I met with Shawn yesterday morning for strength work and deep tissue massage. The massage is some of the most brutal stuff I've ever experienced. I run the risk of sounding like a real wimp here, but I don't care. His deep tissue release work is aggressive but ultimately very helpful. I emerged from our meeting feeling a little beat up but very glad I did it. I felt better in the end. 

Later, I went on a thoroughly enjoyable bike ride with Ali into Kittery. We went for about 45 minutes at a nice easy-moderate pace. I've never been one to go on a bike ride for real exercise so I was surprised at how much fun it was. You could probably count this as the first real time I've gone out for a legitimate ride for more of a reason that simply getting somewhere. I was literally talking to someone yesterday about how I don't like biking and here I am 12 hours later basically retracting that statement. In the next couple weeks I'll be hitting up the bike far more frequently to build up a little strength and endurance to help get back into running shape.

This morning (Friday) I went out again for a shorter ride ~30 minutes and ended up at the gym where I did about 15 minutes of core strength exercises given to me by Shawn. Short and sweet today. Didn't  want to crush myself. 

Overall I'm feeling pretty good at the moment and I already feel an added strength and confidence in my hips and core. It sounds corny but I'm very grateful to have the added motivation from the doctor and Shawn to get me going on a more constructive path. I was definitely in a little bit of a rut the past couple weeks. With a more structured regimen going forward I'm hoping to start seeing real progress soon....

AH

Appointment today

Today was a pretty critical day, and one that was much needed. I drove to Westboro, MA for another follow up appointment with the doctor who did my surgery. I had a lot of questions and really wanted to make it worth it for both my physical and mental well being. Having done no running the past couple weeks (and feeling that reality drifting farther away) I've been in a very precarious mental state where I barely even allow myself to think about running. I knew I needed a fresh boost of confidence, so I saved little bit of hope that I'd leave this appointment feeling better. 

The drive down was hectic with lots of traffic but I somehow made it right at 9:30. I was stuck at a snails pace for about 45 minutes before the 93 junction. A cop had pulled someone over right at the ramp, making an already hairy merge even slower. No doubt I made up a lot of time after that cleared away. Massachusetts drivers coming out of a traffic jam, everyone is cruising at 81. It's easy to fit in when you've got somewhere to go and don't have a lot of time to get there. 

Shortly after arriving, Dr. Busconi saw me through the receptionists room and called me over to the door himself. It was nice to be recognized but it also made me feel like I've been seeing a lot of him in the last 6 months. Once we were in the exam room we both spoke quickly and efficiently on why I'm still experiencing pain while running and what I need to do about it. Lots of things were said, and I knew they'd come at rapid fire pace so I wrote them all down as we were talking. This is amazing advice by the way and something everyone should be doing at the doctors, unless maybe it's a more routine visit. People have told me to bring paper and pen into doctor visits before but this might be the first time I've actually listened. Shout out to Ali for that one. 

First thing he noticed was some pretty extreme tightness of my adductors. I need to be more aggressive with deep tissue massage along there. The main reason I'm feeling pain while running is because my adductors are basically pulling on the repaired site when I go to extend my leg. He assured me this is normal with this surgery and that once you work through that tightness the pain will go away, however long that takes. Feeling my adductors myself I could tell a huge difference between my left and right side with my left being way tighter. I don't know how I didn't notice this before. I also need to keep breaking up the scar tissue on the incision site. That's still far from 100% too. 

Regarding my right side, he said it is normal to experience pain there, but hard to say if there is a tear right now. Interestingly, he said 12% of patients who get sports hernia surgery find out later (once they've recovered and their "worst" side is fixed) they find that their opposite side is actually more bothersome than they initially thought and end up requiring the same repair but that side. When I asked him further about it, he said my MRI showed inflammation on my right, but no tearing like on my left. Good enough for me and I'll leave it at that for now.

To address the inflammation and potentially help with pain and recovery, he gave me two cortisone injections in my pubic bone area. No lies here, it was definitely painful. I squeezed my eyes shut and gritted my teeth to avoid any kind of twitch or movement while he was giving me the shot. 

Here's my plan for the immediate future, suggested by the doc:

Deep tissue massage on both adductors from SC (Shawn Crotto) at least once a week, hopefully twice. Not sure of his schedule these days.

Resume PT next week

Start light running in 10 days

Slowly build up over the next couple weeks

When might I be back running to my normal standards? I have a new sense of hope that I'll be back running relatively consistently by late summer. If you'd asked me that yesterday, well, I'd have given you a completely different answer. I need to find a way to bottle today's positivity and drink a few tablespoons a day. 

Buddha elephant agrees. 

AH

Guest Blogger: Justin O'Brien

Justin O'Brien, one of my good friends from Bucknell, is my guest blogger this month. I say this month, but really it'll probably be "every sometimes," (reference to one of my favorite blogs WaitButWhy) because I don't want to be tied down by silly time contraints like that. Call me a free spirit blogger if you'd like. A quick background on Justin (aka "Lunchbox" in Bucknell XC circles): He's class of 2011, so I ran with the guy for three years. While not the most talented runner on the team, he was one of the harder working and consistent members and a hugely important leader and moral compass for the team. He's also a very good baseball player and all around athlete, not something you always see in a distance runner. He captained several successful summer softball teams comprised of cross country runners staying at Bucknell for the summer, our best result coming in a close runner up in '09. That's a heartbreaker that still haunts me to this day. Without further adieu, here is his post.

A Runner’s Dilemma

By: Justin O'Brien

There was recently a controversy surrounding the Via (Lehigh Valley) Marathon, the Boston Marathon and a runner who used the former to qualify for the latter. Members of the running community likely know the story, and it has certainly begun drifting into the mainstream. For those who haven’t heard, here is a good summary from Runner’s World. A far more extensive recap can be found in a 4500+ post letsrun.com message board thread.  Here's a very short version of the story: a man may or may not have cheated at Via to get a Boston Qualifier. Via has announced that they have no plans to disqualify the runner despite a great deal of circumstantial evidence that he did, in fact, cheat to run a faster time. I recommend reading the article linked above for all the details.

The recent announcement allowing the man's time to stand has set off a powder keg of emotion directed at the Via Marathon. The race’s Facebook page has been inundated with posts criticizing the race director for the decision. People are calling for a boycott and for the race to lose its Boston Qualifier status. It's important to note that Via has a unique distinction of being contested on the last day in which times are accepted for the upcoming Boston Marathon, making it a popular race for runners looking for one last chance at qualifying for America’s most famous race.  This reason, along with its proximity to home and its relative ease as a marathon course (200+ foot elevation drop!) led me to choose Via Marathon as the race to make my first appearance at the 26.2 mile distance.  

Which leads to my aforementioned dilemma. There are several things to consider: Are criticisms of the race fair? Is it a race that will seemingly allow cheating despite overwhelming evidence against the runner?  Do I want to support a race director who won’t go the extra mile to preserve the integrity of his event?  Ultimately, all these questions boil down to one very important one for me: Should I still run the race?

When I decided to run a marathon, I needed to choose the right run to fit into my schedule.  The plan was to attempt to qualify for Boston, so I needed to choose a race that happened before the cutoff, yet gave me ample time to train for the longer distance. The race also needed to fit into my busy racing schedule, allowing me time after the race to recover, as well as not interfere with races I planned on doing throughout the year. The Via Marathon fit nicely into my plan, as well as having the advantage of starting less than a half hour from my house. Via it was. Less than a week after my registration, the story of the runner potentially cheating broke. Less than a month later, the announcement that he would not be disqualified was made.  

The race FAQs state that no refunds are permitted. However, it is heavily advertised as the second fastest Boston Qualifying (BQ) marathon in the country. The amount of people who achieve a BQ time at this race is one of the main draws, and they use that fact to promote the race. The loss of its BQ status, which is being called for by many “internet guys” removes one of the few draws this race has.  If the race loses its BQ status, I feel that I would have no choice but to ask for a full refund on the grounds of the race not delivering its advertised perks. And it there is real danger of this happening. This very question has been posed on the race’s Facebook page and remains conspicuously unanswered several days after posting. If this were to happen, then what would I do? My race and workout schedule are pretty much set through early September. How difficult would it be to find another race? Would Via even give me a refund? It does explicitly state that there are none. Money aside-- I’ve built my entire racing and training schedule around this race with the explicit goal of getting to Boston. If qualifying isn’t an option, then what? I would probably feel pretty lost and angry through no fault of my own.

Then there is the ultimate question of, even if the race goes on as a BQ, even if they add measures to prevent cheating (the race says they are adding six intermediate timing mats to the route), should I run?  The online running community is making it out that running this race would be akin to crossing a picket line as a scab. “Running this race is supporting cheating," they claim.  There are numerous posts on Via’s Facebook page made by people saying they thought of running the race, but definitely are not now as a result of this scandal.    

The Via Marathon is a fundraiser which raises money for the Via of the Lehigh Valley which “is a non-profit agency that provides services for children and adults with disabilities like autism, cerebral palsy and Down syndrome.” It is not the BAA hosting a giant race with resources to police the entire course to watch out for cheaters. It's clearly a lower key marathon race to raise money for a good cause. It is likely that due to the man who (potentially) cheated his way through the event, that the event will raise significantly less money than in past years. If 100 fewer runners show up for boycotting reasons, that’s over $10,000 fewer dollars going to charity.  In addition, the new protocols to prevent future cheating are estimated to cost between $7,000 and $10,000.  So to the runner who probably cheated his way to Boston, I hope you enjoyed the experience, because a great charity is suffering because you wanted to take shortcuts in life. As for me, as long as the BQ stays in place, I’ll be there, trying to accomplish the same goal you had. I want to run in Boston in 2016.  But I’m going to do it the old fashioned way, the correct way. One step at a time.

 

Justin O’Brien

Quick update

Rolled through my exercises today, feeling pretty decent. The groin pain has been calming down ever so slightly over the past few days. I didn't want to try running yet, but this was an optimistic start and the best I've felt getting up in about a week. 

My eternal stretching companion. 

More later. 

AH

Updates + Bucknell

The small amount of confidence I had built up over the last month is basically back to square one. I haven't attempted a real run since May 24th. That week I did a few runs of about 3 miles each with one run of almost 4 miles. I remember my body reacting badly to that 4 miler in the days following, despite feeling pretty good about it at the time and immediately afterwards. It's all starting to boil down to a lack of confidence in my body's ability to bounce back and react the way I'd expect it to-- even with severely lowered expectations. I'm determined to keep doing my exercises and keep breaking up the scar tissue in there. My desire to go running is there, no doubt, but I know I can't do it or at least don't want to risk inflicting another setback upon myself. I'm afraid to go outside and run. I spent my first 4 waking hours yesterday in an awful mental loop where I'd want to go outside and try running only to reel myself back in and not do anything.

I had a thought yesterday during this perpetual mental looping that my struggles, in many ways, boil down to now knowing what to do when I don't have running in my daily life. It usually gave me such structure to my days. Even now, not being in any kind of shape and not running for about a year, I don't know how to handle it very well.

I am going back to my surgeon at Umass Memorial next week, on Wednesday to be reevaluated. He's going to examine both sides and hopefully come up with some kind of plan. I don't know if this will mean another MRI, an injection, or what, but at least it's something. I feel a little bit ill at the thought of going back there, but it needs to be done.

Also, after 10 days of no PT, I'm going to resume that endeavor. My next appointment there is tomorrow, though I might need to cancel that one and just go next week due to potential work conflicts. That's to be decided later.

I went back to Bucknell for my 5 year reunion last weekend and got to talk to a lot of people I haven't seen in a long time. It was an amazing feeling being back there and definitely made me feel very sentimental about teammates and the places we used to frequent. Special shout out there to Stucco, the off campus house that's been the home base for the Bucknell cross country team for the past 19 years. Bucknell has been allowing fewer and fewer people to live off campus (we had this issue to a lesser degree even when I was there) in recent years, and this past Sunday was the day the lease for Stucco ended as no current team members renewed it. It's hard to describe the importance of this place during my time at Bucknell. I'm afraid the words would fall short, but it was more of a shrine than a house in my mind. Though I never lived there, so maybe those who did feel differently about it. It was always the meeting place though, no matter where you lived. No doubt it represented the foundation of our team camaraderie. Beyond that, you really needed to be a member of the Bucknell cross country team for some amount of time between the years of 1996-2015 to really understand what it means. So maybe it's best unsaid. RIP Stucco.

Anyway, I'm going to try and keep my head up and stay positive and keep doing these mindless exercises. Better get to it!

AH