Pain and progress

So much has happened since my last post I'm not even sure where to start. There have been some good things and not so good things. Let's get right to it.

Ali and I drove to California (we're currently in Petaluma, will be in Vallejo starting on Thursday for the next few months). The drive was fun and very rarely felt long or boring. We kept ourselves occupied by listening to The Martian on audiobook, talking with each other, or listening to podcasts. We left on Monday 1/4 and got to Santa Barbara on that Friday. We averaged about 10 hours of driving a day and stopped in hotels/air bnbs every night to keep ourselves fresh.

The night before we left Portsmouth I was out on a 90 minute run. Fairly routine minus the fact that I'd run a hard two hours earlier in the day. That week was one of the biggest of my life. I'd run about 125 miles in 6 days. No doubt I was teetering on "the edge," and whether or not I was aware of that, running that afternoon really tightened up my right hamstring. I stopped and stretched and it seemed to get better as I finished up the run. After the run I was a little hobbled and had a slight limp, but hey I had just run 33 high quality miles in a day. Little aches are customary. I got a massage from Shawn and felt better.

I woke up the next morning and was in a lot more pain. Tuesday was even worse. The ache went from being a general ache in my upper hamstring to a sharp, stabbing pain right where it connects up into my sit bones. Not a very comfortable place to have some pain during a drive across the ol' USA.

By the time Wednesday morning came around and I got up with the same severe pain, a huge part of me had already given up on being able to run the Trials. I even told Ali "I think this is it, I don't think I'll be able to run." I had zero indication that things were going to get better. Walking, I was limping noticeably; running was out of the question-- no amount of will power could have allowed me to run at that point. It was more painful, sharp, and far more inhibitive (is that the right word? maybe, hey, it's a blog.. get what you pay for) than my sports hernia. From experience with deep core injuries, I had the feeling that my symptoms weren't going to improve any time soon. I had gone into mental damage control mode. The sooner I could wrap my head around not being able to run the Trials, the better I'll ultimately be able to cope with the disappointment. As sad and angry as I felt for those couple days, there was nothing I could do to alter the past. My body reminded me of the pain whenever I moved around, which quelled any hopes I might have had to get better. There was no question running was simply impossible at that point.

Time passed, we got to California on Friday, settled in a little bit (and stopped driving for 8-12 hours each day). This, we were hoping, would help my cause. On Saturday I tried a short walk/run, hopeful that I'd at least be able to do something. Running, unfortunately, even at a walking pace, was still impossible. The stabbing sensation underneath me was still horrible. I was, however, able to walk without as much of a limp. Hung my hat on that fact for the day. Hey, it was something!

Sunday I went out for another couple long walks. On one of those walks when I was with Ali, I tried running again, painfully slowly, and was able to do it for a couple minutes. This was literally at a walking pace, but I was lifting my legs in sort of a running gait, as pathetic as it might have looked... it was improvement. I probably looked like a gangly old man post double hip replacement.

Monday I drove out to a park near Petaluma and was planning another walk/run scenario. I was able to run for 4-5 minute chunks, then take walking breaks in between to stretch and do lunges and things like that. The park was beautiful and felt like such a new place, which was exciting. I didn't wear a watch but was out there for 1:15, which included seven or so running segments. I was finally getting somewhere! I also got an amazing deep tissue massage from this place in Petaluma. Suddenly I was feeling really good and some hope began to creep into my consciousness. I got out and did another medium length walk with a short running segment later in the afternoon with Ali.

Today I ran four miles. Again, this was at a brutally slow pace, but towards the end I was getting up to about an 8:00 pace without debilitating pain. This is certainly the fastest I've run since this happened. I did take breaks: I'd run for .7 miles, then walk for .3 and get some stretches in. Repeat that process until four miles was up. It was painful, no doubt, but it was tolerable in a way it never was before.

So that's where I am. If you read all that, bravo-- I hope it wasn't too boring for you. I wanted to write it out day by day to give myself a sense of how I've improved. (Well will ya look at that...) In a couple days I've gone from a quasi-running-esque-old-man-shuffle for a couple minutes to almost a mile at a time of legit "hey that guy is running and doesn't look like total shit" type speed. Nevermind the fact that I'd been doing the majority of my training at 6:00 pace. WHO THE HELL CARES. I am actually getting healthier-- something I seriously doubted would happen at a reasonable rate before.

This puts me in an admittedly weird position. Given that the Trials are a month away, it's hard to say whether I'll still be able to race. Two months out-- I'd say it's likely I could recover in time. Two weeks? No way. A month? .....maybe. I know I'll still go to LA and at least watch the event. Ali and I still have a hotel room booked and a number for the race and I don't want to give up that whole experience, especially considering all the friends and family that I'll be able to see there. I need to give up the idea that I'll be able to run 2:14 or 2:13-- reasonable goals before this injury that are now seemingly pipe dreams. That's OK though, these things happen to runners and it's not the end of the world. Worst case scenario is that I just can't race. If that happens, I'll find another race and refocus myself. It's a big race to miss out on, but it's just a race and life goes on. No sense in making things worse and getting down about it. There are always more to look forward to.

In the meantime, I won't give up. No chance. I'm doing everything I can do get healthy right now and be able to stand on that starting line with everyone else in February.

AH